Is Art Selfish?

Yesterday I attended Gene Luen Yang’s opening lecture at the Festival of Faith and Writing. The title was, Is Art Selfish? Great question.

Yang presented many anecdotes from his own life, illustrating how he has struggled with this question. He began writing comics in fifth grade, and he would isolate himself from others during lunch periods to write comics with his friend, which they would later sell.

He never stopped making comics, and after he graduated from college he taught computer science classes to high school students. During the summers he would work on his comics. Once he had an opportunity to run a program in which his high school students would tutor disadvantaged elementary school kids during the summer.

He declined, because he didn’t want to give up his summer. He wanted to work on his art. He wondered if that was being selfish. Fortunately, another teacher was able to run the program, so the disadvantaged kids still got tutored.

When Yang first started out, he was self-publishing comics. This could cost him hundreds to thousands of dollars out of pocket. When he had kids, art began to feel very selfish. How could he spend that money on comics when he had children to take care of? Any hours spent on comics were hours not being spent with his kids.

This last point resonated with me quite a bit. When you become a parent, you’re expected to make sacrifices. I had reconciled that, and had adjusted my life accordingly (no more seasons of Madden on Playstation.) So starting this MFA program did feel pretty selfish. I haven’t done anything just for myself in a long time. Prior to attending my writing program’s first residency, the longest I’d ever been away from my children was a weekend.

My family has been super supportive, of course, but it still feels strange to have “alone time” to do my work.

Last week was spring break. I was home. The kids were home. We didn’t go anywhere. In fact, I spent most of the week sequestered at the library, working on my packet. I felt a little bit guilty about that. Shouldn’t I be planning out exciting adventures with my kids for each day of the break? Instead, they played games in the house. They read books. They watched television. Probably more television than they should have. The theme song to Jake and the Neverland Pirates is seared into my brain.

We did have one nice day, and I took them to the playground. So it’s not like I was totally absent.

It turned out that I really needed that time. I got my work done, but it was down to the wire. I try to remember that my kids are not completely dependent on me to provide entertainment for them. Still, it did feel selfish to steal away. It helps, though, that my dad was there to play with them. Again, my family has been very supportive of me in this MFA endeavor.

Gene Yang did not provide an easy answer to the question. When he asked his wife if art was selfish, she said, “It can be.” Yang went on to quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, Oscar Wilde, and Mikhail Baryshnikov (a hilarious malapropism occurred on that one, as he accidentally called him Gorbachev,) all of whom had the message that true artists need to be intensely individual and never marry or have children.

So, that’s terrible.

However, Yang reminded us of the ways that art can be selfless, and how it can be absolutely necessary for the artist to create art. He outlined four ideas:

1. Art as an Icon – Icon painting is intense discipline. Icons are copies of other icons. Small differences occur as an expression of the community the artist belongs to. Icon painters don’t sign their work.  Yang pointed out that each artist is a part of a community that is bigger than himself: “Even if we are trying to be creative, the most radical ideas are still stories told by our communities.”
2. Art as a Prayer – Yang argued that creativity allows the Holy Spirit to work through us. Before he writes, he is filled with dread. Buddhists call that the “monkey mind.” The monkey is unfocused and restless. Writing is a way to calm the monkey down – it can get you into the zone, to a place of peace, productivity, and presence. (This point reminded me of something Ray Bradbury said – he felt unwell if he went more than a few days without writing. He had to write to feel at peace.)
3. Art as an (internal) Organ – For the artist, creating art is vital. Just as vital as your internal organs are to your continued health and existence. Still, the human body is not entirely art – and lives have to be about more than just art. Yang seemed to be indicating the importance of finding a balance – of actually going out there an living, rather than being isolated with your art.
4. Art as an Act of Service – collections of stories bind communities together. People have a deep desire for story. So much so that they want to embody their stories.

Generally, art is a community good. And it is an individual good for the artist who creates it.  Art gives us a map. Who are we? How do we fit into the world? How do we organize our lives?

These are the questions we want to help our children answer. Having children isn’t a reason to stop creating art. Having children is a great reason to start creating art. The next generation needs a road map too.

I have felt selfish at times, for sure. But my kids absolutely love the Febreze and Caliente stories that I write for them. Those stories are silly, but they offer a road map of sorts. My children know where they fit in; they know that they are loved, and that they are encouraged to participate in whatever adventures they can  imagine.

So maybe art isn’t so selfish after all.

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