The Problem with Reading Good Books

I just finished reading Code Name Verity, by Elizabeth Wein, and wow, was it good.

It was good for so many reasons. The characters were written well. The book was action-packed. It carried a lot of emotional weight. It’s one of those books, like The Book Thief, that I won’t be able to stop thinking about for a while.

And that’s a problem, as I come to the end of my first writing packet. I’ve been able to do my writing assignments, including working on my manuscript, for over a month, without being discouraged. Not once. Until now, when I must confess, I’m slightly discouraged. This, of course, occurring a few days before sending off my packet. I could have done it, too, blissfully unaware of my cavernous shortcomings, had I not been subjected to this wonderful novel in the eleventh hour.

Code Name Verity is crawling with plot lines. And the major plot line is encoded in a plot line that is intentionally fake. Yet somehow, Wein makes every single one of them work and tie together flawlessly. Not only that, but the climax of the story is completely beautiful and soul crushing all at the same time. And just when Wein has raked you over the coals, she soothes you in the denouement (an appropriate French term, given the nature of the novel,) without being cloying or letting you off the hook.

Now, contrast this with my own manuscript, where, as a friend pointed out, I had a character asking the same question of another character in consecutive chapters. “Why would she ask this question again? Wasn’t he there the last time she asked it?”

Yes. Yes he was.

STUPID!

So, that was revised out, obviously. I’ve written 67 pages or so, but I’ve revised each chapter four or five times. Not that I’m against revising. I know that it’s necessary. But my question is: When does it all end? At this point, I don’t want anyone else to read it, because I know they will find places for me to revise. Which is fine. Except that I imagine I could continue this process FOREVER.

Still, I do feel like I’ve probably done all that I can with it, so what better time to send it off to my advisor? I’m not afraid of her finding places for me to revise it. I know that there will be much work to do. My biggest fear is that she won’t recognize the amount of work I’ve put into it. I would hate for her to read it and think that I just sent off a first draft of something. Beyond that, my fear is that no amount of work can redeem what I have done, and the whole project gets scrapped.

And this is the problem with well-written books. I read them and I’m amazed. How could I ever write something that good? I couldn’t!

That attitude, of course, does no justice to the amount of work that these authors put into creating their amazing books. I’m looking at a finished product when I read a book. I suspect that Code Name Verity must have gone through a ton of revisions to get it right. Intellectually, I know this. But still.

When I read a great book, I’m motivated to write, because I also want to contribute something that is great. When I read books that are terrible, I’m motivated to write, because I think, “I could do better.” I think that motivation is a bit stronger. So I should read terrible books more often. The problem with the book list I’ve been given is that most of the books on it are great. If I read too many great books, I’m bound to get discouraged. Fortunately, my due date is upon me, and I’ve got no more time to worry about it. At least until I get my revisions and comments back.

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